IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some think that governments should tax unhealthy foods to encourage people to eat healthier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#think #governments #tax #foods #people
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Nowadays, health related diseases are increasing rapidly due to excessive consumption of unhealthy
junk
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food
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. Some people believe that the government authorities should impose a higher taxable amount of the
junk
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food
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, so that people can minimise its consumption. In my opinion, it will only affect the middle-class people.
To begin
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 with, increasing taxes on the unhealthy
food
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 products will restrict the lower income people from eating the
junk
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food
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. The reason being poor people, who already have difficulties in supporting their basic needs
such
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 as
food
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, shelter and clothing knows the actual value of money.
Thus
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,
such
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 people would prefer eating home made, freshly cooked
food
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,
instead
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 of buying expensive unhealthy
food
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 from the outside.
However
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,
this
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 development will have no effect on the high-class people because the little bit increase in the tax is, almost nothing in front of their cravings towards the
junk
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food
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. Creating awareness among the people about the consequences of eating unhealthily is
also
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 not the optimal solution.
This
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 is because, a majority of people who eat the fast foods are already well educated and aware.
For instance
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, according to the World Health Organisation, most of the employees working in the IT firms are eating the fast
food
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, not that because they are unaware of its disadvantages, but because they lack the time to prepare it.
Hence
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,
such
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 people go with the unhealthy
food
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 choice, despite knowing its impact.
Therefore
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, The Government should focus on creating healthy alternatives of
food
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, which are easily accessible and affordable so that, everyone can enjoy it. To conclude, imposing taxes on the fast
food
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 items will reduce its consumption among the lower income people.
However
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, the government authorities should create easily accessible and affordable alternatives of healthy
food
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 so that people can stay fit and healthy.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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