IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Topic: Governments shoud spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#topic #governments #shoud #money #railways #roads
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It is argued that the government budget should be allocated more to railways than roads.
However
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, I do not agree with
this
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 argument. In my opinion, the authorities should invest equally in both railroad and road systems. On the one hand, rail transport is one of the safest modes of transportation. While there are no unexpected vehicles coming on the railway line, people often need to pay attention to other vehicles when they commute on roads.
As a result
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, the occurrence probability of roadway traffic accidents tends to be higher than that of railroad casualties.
In addition
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, commuting by rail transport may ease the traffic congestion. Trains can carry a larger passenger number than any road vehicles.
Thus
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, if people travel by train
instead
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 of their own vehicles during rush hours, the traffic jams can be alleviated.
On the other hand
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, people may find it convenient to commute by their private vehicles. Today, people often need to travel in short distances where trains cannot be used.
Therefore
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, roadway vehicles still play a vital role in our daily life.
Furthermore
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, by using private vehicles, people can save their valuable time. Commuters can manage their travel time effectively when they use their own vehicles.
By contrast
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, commuting by railway vehicles highly depends on their schedules.
For example
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, if commuters miss a train, they may need to wait for the
next
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 train. In conclusion, railway and road systems are equally important to the development of a country.
Thus
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, the government should focus on improving both these systems.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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