The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

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It is generally believed that the education plays a vital part in bracing young men and women

for

Suggestion

the contemporary era. Subjects

such

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as arts and crafts and music should be removed from the syllabus in order

Suggestion

for

children to concentrate on beneficial courses

such

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as information technology and computer science. In my opinion, it is obvious in today’s world we are surrounded by technology and its products.

However

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this

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does not mean that merely technology-related subjects are important. Technological literacy gained much importance than ever before with the advances in knowledge. When recruiting new employees just about every job in all sectors and industries seek individuals with a prior knowledge of technology.

Moreover

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, possessing computer skills are no longer considered as just an advantage but an absolute necessity. Omitting other subjects from the curriculum will contribute to the development of positive science rapidly. A conducted survey suggests that the human brain is more productive when its interested in one particular issue at a time.

On the other hand

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, artistic subjects feed our soul and lead to the development of our spiritual world. The technological subjects are already mentally demanding. Through music activities and arts the youngsters may relax themselves and enjoy their inside journey.

Furthermore

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, in the future they can be renowned musicians and artists.

In other words

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, some children may find aforementioned topics more interesting and be successful. In conclusion, despite positive sciences have taken over our planet there might be some children who are interested in a career apart from these. I believe that, all subjects should be stressed equally or

similarly

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Submitted by pbayrak16 on Thu Apr 09 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

contentious
contemporary
correlation
foster
emotional intelligence
narrow students’ perspectives
critically
creatively
interdisciplinary
introspective
integration
debate
curriculum

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The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

In many countries today, the eating habit and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some are of the opinion that this had negative effects on their health. What is your opinion? Do you agree or disagree with this idea.

Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to citites, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Government should spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than supporting professional sports and art performance for general public. Do you agree or disagree?