IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people fail to maintain balance with work and other aspects of life. What are the reasons for failure? How can it be solved?

#people #balance #work #aspects #life #failure
Every year, millions of people make resolutions to balance their professional compulsions and personal preferences. While
this
 is not easy to achieve, it is possible to overcome some of the obstacles and enjoy a more balanced lifestyle. Let us delve deeper into the reasons for failure and their solutions to support my notion in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
 with, many companies set a very high target for their employees. People strive on not losing their jobs because of the failed goal achievement. To elaborate, in order to achieve their goals in the workplace, they begin to give up on other parts of lives like socialising. To illustrate, an article published in “Bloomberg Businessweek” magazine in July 2019 stated that many bankers tend to miss their social events like birthday parties because they are busy at work in meeting the deadlines.
Furthermore
, most managers expect juniors to put in more working hours to get promotions. To substantiate, many people are ready to take up extra time in the office just to appear very committed despite of giving time to their loved ones.
For instance
, a survey organised by “United States Census Bureau” in May 2018 revealed that employees in production industries are given appraisals based on the quantity of job & the overtime incurred. In order to tackle
this
, government should fix the working hours and the minimum wage rate in the country. To elucidate, government needs to introduce a law to govern all types of wage-earners and salaried workforce so as to limit the burden of official tasks which in turn would help the employees work better. To exemplify, “Harvard University, USA” conducted a research in August 2014 and found that conducting awareness campaigns about the risk of doing overtime job hours helped both the company and the professionals to maintain stability in life & duties. To encapsulate, let us reiterate that the ability to handle work while maintaining the life balance is important. Time management and having realistic goals can help achieve these ambitions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: