IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that spending the national budget on space exploration wastes resources. They insist that that fund should be spent on people living on earth. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some say the allocation of national funding for discovery
space
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 is a waste of
resources
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. They believe
this
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 budget should be spent on human life on the
earth
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. From my perspective,
i
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I
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 strongly disagree with
this
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 statement
due to
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 investing in the exploring universe is a long-term investment to advance human technology and look for new sources to prevent the globe from running out the non-renewable
resources
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 in the next few decades. A good reason to invest money and natural assets in
space
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 discovery is an approach to searching for new
resources
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 that might replace fossils that are depleting. Some assumptions evaluate that any kinds of sources on the
earth
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 could run out in a few centuries
due to
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 overexploitation.
Therefore
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, allocating human-
resources
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 and environmental assets brings more benefits as universe professionals could find a new planet
that is
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 suitable for human habitation.
For example
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, scientists discovered a star that has a distance of 20 million light-years from
Earth
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 is likely to provide human living conditions
such
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 as water and O2. Another point to consider is that
space
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 exploration is necessary for global technological advancement because it invisibly motivates people and future generations to research
this
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 industry,
furthermore
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, the involves elements that could be applied in basic life.
For example
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, many satellites are now used for weather prediction and transition of data information. In conclusion, developing
space
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 study brings a wide range of benefits for humans to progress in the scientific universe and technological enhancement providing an opportunity for man's breakthrough and eventually figure out a new existence out of
earth
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.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the context and presents a clear opinion. However, more specific examples or evidence could strengthen your arguments, particularly in terms of providing data or detailed explanations to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
You could enhance coherence by providing more explicit transitions between points. Consider using linking words to show the relationship between sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
You've successfully outlined a compelling argument for space exploration as a worthy investment. This demonstrates critical thinking and clear alignment with the essay prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • resources
  • budget
  • space exploration
  • wastes
  • people living on Earth
  • disagree
  • technological advancements
  • scientific research
  • discovery
  • inspires
  • motivates
  • future generations
  • benefits
  • extend
  • long-term investment
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