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Band 6.5

In many countries, people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #people #children
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Gaining
weight especially
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weight, especially
 in young teenagers is a major anxious matter amongst many countries. Children became fat because of modernization and technology advancement.
This
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 essay will discuss the problems of obesity in young people and the responsibilities of the government, society, and parents. It is likely that one of the prominent causes giving rise to
this
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 problem is the major change in our lifestyle due to the remarkable advances in technology, which has a considerable impact on our daily life and health. Children could consume many
junk
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 foods at any time, which we consume every day made the matters worse. These foods, which are easily available, often contain ingredients that are high in calorie, cholesterol and fat, while lack necessary vitamin, mineral and protein and these factors are taking a toll on our health.
In addition
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, teenagers are playing with their computers rather than playing outside.
As a result
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, teenagers are lacking in exercise and becoming overweight. In my opinion, teachers, parents, and the government as a whole should take
this
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 issue as an emergency and take a necessary step.
For instance
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, parents are keeping an eye on their children’s eating habits and make sure to make healthy
food
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 while reducing the quality of
junk
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food
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. The government could limit
junk
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food
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 advertising to discourage children to fail for bad eating habits. In conclusion,
although
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 many countries are now falling into similar issues of unhealthy diet we can defeat
this
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 issue by following the steps
such
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 as the limit of the
junk
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food
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 consumed by children.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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