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Writing Samples
Band 6

Gone are the days when children dreamed of becoming doctors and nurses – today’s children want to become YouTubers or vloggers. According to a survey of 1,000 children aged six to 17, more than three quarters of them say they’d consider a career in online videos. (Adapted from --DELETED LINK-- It is dangerous for kids to aspire to become a YouTube sensation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #doctors #nurses #today’s #youtubers #vloggers #survey #six #three #quarters #they’d #career #videos #link-- #kids #youtube #sensation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to
 the results of a recent survey, becoming a successful YouTuber or a blogger is the dream of a large number of young people, especially
children
 aged 6 to 17. It is often argued that a
career
 in online videos is
such
 a threatening
career
 orientation for their
children
;
however
, I completely disagree with
this
 opinion, and I will discuss some compelling reasons in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, it cannot be repudiated that becoming a YouTube sensation is
such
 a valuable opportunity for the
self- fulfilment
Correct your spelling
self-fulfilment
show examples
 of the
children
.
This
 means they can develop their own skills.
For example
, they can improve their time-management skill because they have to be able to upload at least two or three videos per week to meet the deadline, which requires a sense of self-control.
Besides
,
this
career
also
 helps younger to master communication skills, so they can not only produce more quality videos but
also
 draw public attention. Another obvious positive aspect of
this
 idea is that
this
also
 helps
children
 have better
career
 opportunities in the future.
This
 viewpoint is put forward because employers seem to be impressed by candidates who have succeeded in a certain field, and having a YouTube channel with thousands of subscribers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 among the great advantages of recruitment.
In addition
, if students can achieve their own achievements in
this
 field, it will be a huge plus to apply for scholarships at prestigious universities. In conclusion, I believe that
this
 is a legitimate job and it should get support from family and society.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly outline the author's stance on the topic and provide a roadmap for the essay.
task achievement
Expand on the reasons supporting the author's opinion, providing specific examples and elaborating on their relevance to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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