IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

There are different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than international music that is heard everywhere now a days?

#music #world #country
Music
 exists from the very beginning of the time period. In ancient times people used to spend their lives by creating rock, singing, dancing
so on
in the near future
soon
.
Music
 is art. Which represents a way of living. In today's world, no one can imagine their
life
 without
music
. Now a day
music
 is everywhere. Though it has many types
such
 as pop, jazz, folk etc. And people listen to it as per their choice.
Music
 plays a very important role in one's
life
. It serves as a purpose of an entertainment in one's
life
.
Otherwise
, without entertainment the
life
 would be very boring at some point. Everyone needs some zits in their
life wheather
Accept comma addition
life, whether
life whether
 it's senior old citizen or any adolescent teenagers. With regards to
second question
Suggestion
the second question
a second question
, as now a days
Music
 Industry growing and producing lots of modern
musics
Suggestion
music
.
Accept space
.
Thus
,
this
(used to introduce a logical conclusion) from that fact or reason or as a result
thus
 suppressing the folk and cultural musics. Western
culture
 might be the main reason for people loosing their interest in these old
music
 and getting influenced towards new singing. Though
traditional
Suggestion
tradition
traditionally
 has its place in the world. Traditional and folk
music
 shows the
culture
 and heritage of an individual. It reflects who they are and where they are from. Traditional
music
 important, as
this
 generation is changing and moving at a very fast pace, and busy in adopting modern
culture
 and lifestyle might forget the true essence of their cultural and traditional
music
. In conclusion, it is important for the people to realise the true value of their traditional musics and should try to protect and preserve their
culture
.
Submitted by mgmalati2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: