IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others think that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
Upon high
school
 graduation, students face the dilemma of continuing their studies at university or taking a job. While there are some benefits to getting a job straight after
school
, I would agree that enrolling at a university leads to more success in their careers. Some may argue that working after high
school
 helps those graduates develop an independent life and gives them an insight into their future careers.
First
, they can learn to live independently by managing their income and spending. In Vietnam, students taking jobs after high
school
 and living away from their parents are more self-reliant adults who can cover the compounding costs of accommodation, transport, and food without asking their parents for a monthly spending allowance.
Second
, they are given the opportunity and time to observe how other people work in their workplaces.
As a result
, they may acquire a better understanding of their chosen profession and
thus
 make a rational decision about their future, whether to go back to university or to run a business.
However
, I believe it is more beneficial for students to continue their studies. One benefit is qualifications are an essential prerequisite for employment in certain professions. It is illegal to practice medicine without medical degrees or give legal advice without law degrees in most countries in the world. Another benefit is people with post-secondary education and work experience would stand a higher chance of rising to the top and becoming leaders or managers of their companies.
This
 is because the diplomas or degrees
in addition
 to years of professional experience in an area they possess can convince others that they have the necessary skills to regulate the operation of a company’s department. In conclusion, while the option to work after high
school
 seems attractive for several reasons, I believe that pursuing higher education more likely leads to an envious career.
Submitted by vinh.quachtran on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: