IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #media #touch #news #outweigh
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In
the
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apply
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recent days, the usage of social networking
sites
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 like Facebook,
twitter
Capitalize word
Twitter
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, google, and many more
is
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are
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 quite popular.
People
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 rely on these agents not only to communicate
,
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apply
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 but to know about recent
news
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 as well. I think its advantages outweigh
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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.
This
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 essay will explore both
the
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apply
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aspects of social media.
To begin
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 the positives, these
sites
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 introduce the world of virtual reality to
people
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.
This
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 is because an individual can connect with his
kith
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kin
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 and
kins
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kin
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 sitting miles apart. To present an example, nowadays
people
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 prefer to video call their family members on traditional occasions to feel their presence, who are residing in foreign countries.
In contrast
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,
people
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 have to stand in
the
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a
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 long queue to hear the voice of their loved ones.
Additionally
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, it has helped society to remove the conversation gap. Today we can chat, talk, share good memories,
play
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and play
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 games with a relative who is far away.
For instance
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, during
lockdown
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the lockdown
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 of the country, my brother, who resides abroad,
use
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used
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 to play ludo with me to spend some happy moments.
Whereas
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, in the past physical presence in the vicinity was
must involve
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involved
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 in some games.
Furthermore
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, social media update
the
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apply
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human not only in terms of trends, but
regarding
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also regarding
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 recent affairs like
:
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apply
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 charity, sexual assault, national crisis, and weather reports. These agents release
news
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 within no time, to clarify, I came to know
about
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that
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 India is helping other nations regarding
a
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apply
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medicine through Instagram. As every coin has two faces, so
does
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do
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 these
sites
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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.
Firstly
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, national and international
connection
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connections
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 demand a good strength of signal. If the network is poor,
then
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 contact cannot be established and vice versa.
Secondly
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, many cases of online theft have been reported
while
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 money
transfer
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transfers
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, which could be eliminated by proper use of safety programs.
Finally
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,
people
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 could spread fake
news
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;
for example
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, a person
remorse
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is remorseful
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 that his neighbour, who had travel history to Greece, is
covid19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
 positive, though he was not. Despite these drawbacks, I believe slight awareness of
people
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 can assist in overcoming these issues. In conclusion,
although
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the
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apply
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social
sites
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 pose certain
threat
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threats
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 to society in terms of robbery and wrong
news
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,
still
Correct pronoun usage
they still
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it has
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have
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 many pros which cannot be neglected.
Submitted by plkkhati on

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task response
Provide more specific examples and address both advantages and disadvantages in detail.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure, and use cohesive devices to connect ideas.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant communication
  • Geographical separation
  • Vital sources
  • Global events
  • Networking opportunities
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Digital interactions
  • Misinformation
  • Misiformed public opinions
  • Endanger
  • Excessive use
  • Addiction
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
What to do next:
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