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Writing Samples
Band 6

The increase in people's life expectancy means that they have to work older to pay for their retirement. One alternative is that people start to work at younger age. Is this alternative a positive or negative development?

#people #life #expectancy #work #retirement #alternative #age #development
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Human in general
are experiencing
Suggestion
is experiencing
 a longer life expectancy, which lead to an overwhelming number of people continue to
work
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 after the legal
retirement
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age
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. Whereas, others opt for entering the workforce at an earlier
age
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, and from my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development.
First
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, choosing a career path - and the appropriate university courses for that profession - is a decision of paramount importance. Contrary to popular belief, landing on a job while studying - be it a part-time job or an apprenticeship, could easily distract youngsters from fulfilling their duties at school. In essence, in the current climate of obsession with early success, one is put under intense pressure to become successful artists, entrepreneurs and startup CEOs before the
age
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 25, enjoying
retirement
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 with a generous income. That being said, that chilling reality could be a pipe dream for most. In fact, many well-paid jobs,
such
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 as doctors or lawyers, require a multi-year commitment to a long training course which can take up to 6 years or more, and
thus
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, are not suitable for those who start working too early, yet lack formal education.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is mounting evidence that many elderly people are physically and mentally fit to stay in
work
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 until their 70s. I believe that people who remain in paid employment past
retirement
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age
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 or involved in community or voluntary
work
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 improve their chances of staying healthier for longer. Continuing to have a routine and going into a place of
work
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 each day can prevent the sense of loneliness that could come with
retirement
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by engaging in active employment, two problems are solved: the pension and the
retirement
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 savings crisis. Financial independence is the ultimate goal that everyone would pursue in order to live comfortably in older
age
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. In short, the youth-obsessed culture has caused young people to take career decisions earlier than previous generations.
However
Linking Words
, working past
retirement
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age
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 could result in lengthening life spans, improved health and
financial
Suggestion
financially
secure
Suggestion
security
retirement
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ngctus28092002 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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