Some people think that the government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects for the progress of the country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Whether

science

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in school should be the priority subject of the government's investment or not is now up for debate. I agree that

science

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is crucial to our

society

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and should be invested more;

however

Linking Words

, we should not neglect the importance of other fields,

such

Linking Words

as art, literature, or

history

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. On one hand,

science

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does serve as a fuel for development in many areas, namely, technology and medical development.

For example

Linking Words

, people who want to pursue a career in technology need to be good at

science

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, since many methods rely on physics.

Moreover

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, those who want to work in a hospital have to excel at chemistry because they will have to deal with medicines and drugs.

As a result

Linking Words

science

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affects us in many aspects, from health to the digital world, from person to

society

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. It is undeniable that the

authority

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authorities

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should invest more money in order to nurture more youngsters,

thus

Linking Words

improving the whole of

society

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, art, literature, and

history

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also

Linking Words

show irreplaceable impacts on people.

For instance

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, learning arts can boost children's creativity, which is vital for future careers, or they can gain confidence by making beautiful artwork by themselves.

Moreover

Linking Words

, learning literature and

history

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provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

kids with an insight into the

history

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of humankind.

For example

Linking Words

, pupils can learn different era's languages by reading through different periods of books, like 'Romeo and Juliet' or 'Harry Potter. In conclusion, without a doubt

science

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play

Correct subject-verb agreement

plays

show examples

an important part in

society

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and economic progress;

however

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, we should not ignore the influences that other fields pose on us.

Hence

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, I believe every area should be invested equally.

n0806ingTue Nov 22 2022

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task response

Your essay effectively addresses the question, considering both sides of the debate and concluding with a balanced view. To enhance your response, you could provide more depth in explaining why science should be prioritized while still acknowledging the significance of other subjects.

coherence cohesion

The logical flow of your essay is sound, with clear connections between paragraphs and ideas. Consider using more transitional phrases to further improve the coherence between your supporting points and ensure smooth progression.

task response

You provided clear examples, such as the importance of science in technology and medicine, which effectively support your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, making your argument straightforward and easy to understand.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

technological innovations
economic growth
critical issues
balanced education
diversity
critical thinking
creativity
empathy
future market demands
societal needs
digital economy
innovation-driven world
overemphasis
devaluation
cultural understanding
social cohesion
competitive edge
renewable energy
career prospects
public good
evidence-based decisions

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