Some people think that the government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects for the progress of the country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Whether
science
in school should be the priority subject of the government's investment or not is now up for debate. I agree that
science
is crucial to our
society
and should be invested more;
however
, we should not neglect the importance of other fields,
such
as art, literature, or
history
. On one hand,
science
does serve as a fuel for development in many areas, namely, technology and medical development.
For example
, people who want to pursue a career in technology need to be good at
science
, since many methods rely on physics.
Moreover
, those who want to work in a hospital have to excel at chemistry because they will have to deal with medicines and drugs.
As a result
,
science
affects us in many aspects, from health to the digital world, from person to
society
. It is undeniable that the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
should invest more money in order to nurture more youngsters,
thus
improving the whole of
society
.
On the other hand
, art, literature, and
history
also
show irreplaceable impacts on people.
For instance
, learning arts can boost children's creativity, which is vital for future careers, or they can gain confidence by making beautiful artwork by themselves.
Moreover
, learning literature and
history
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
kids with an insight into the
history
of humankind.
For example
, pupils can learn different era's languages by reading through different periods of books, like 'Romeo and Juliet' or 'Harry Potter. In conclusion, without a doubt
science
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
an important part in
society
and economic progress;
however
, we should not ignore the influences that other fields pose on us.
Hence
, I believe every area should be invested equally.
Submitted by n0806ing on

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task response
Your essay effectively addresses the question, considering both sides of the debate and concluding with a balanced view. To enhance your response, you could provide more depth in explaining why science should be prioritized while still acknowledging the significance of other subjects.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is sound, with clear connections between paragraphs and ideas. Consider using more transitional phrases to further improve the coherence between your supporting points and ensure smooth progression.
task response
You provided clear examples, such as the importance of science in technology and medicine, which effectively support your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, making your argument straightforward and easy to understand.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological innovations
  • economic growth
  • critical issues
  • balanced education
  • diversity
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • empathy
  • future market demands
  • societal needs
  • digital economy
  • innovation-driven world
  • overemphasis
  • devaluation
  • cultural understanding
  • social cohesion
  • competitive edge
  • renewable energy
  • career prospects
  • public good
  • evidence-based decisions
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