IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than of other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #literature #country #countries
Children should have books in their syllabus related to their state, and should not
taught
Suggestion
teach
 about foreign books and articles. The essay disagrees with the statement, as to compete at international
level it
Accept comma addition
level, it
 is necessary to read about their language and customs and by studying their literature, one can have an
opprtunity
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunity
 to build
career
Suggestion
a career
 in these domains. People have a concept that their children should have knowledge only about their homeland. As we are living in a materialistic world and there is a great competition of skills and languages. So, if a
child
 study books and articles in foreign language
,
Accept space
,
 one can have
chance
Suggestion
a chance
the chance
 to win competitions at global levels. A
child
 should be familiar about happenings in surroundings, not only within a state but outside domain
also
, and should have knowledge about
rituals
Suggestion
the rituals
 of overseas people so that to become successful and professional in
future
Suggestion
the future
.
Similarly
, when a
child
is providing
Suggestion
is provided
 with the facility to learn languages of other people,
then
 one can move to particular land for career building and becoming professional. As a
child
 already know their
language it
Accept comma addition
language, it
 is easy to get job
oppertunities
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
at
Suggestion
in
 these regions and new ways of knowledge for a
child
. In conclusion, mentors teach pupils about homeland
literature but
Accept comma addition
literature, but
 foreign study material should be added to the curriculum so to make a
child
 successful in
future
Suggestion
the future
 and can find easy ways to become professional.
Submitted by shireengull70 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: