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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart illustrates the classification of
weight
Use synonyms
 measurements of Charlestown during the years 1995 to 2015. The data are classified into
age
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 groups of 20 to 29, 30 to 39, 50 to 59 and 60 to 69 and into
weight
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range
Fix the agreement mistake
ranges
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such
Linking Words
 as underweight, ideal, overweight and obese.
Overall
Linking Words
, In 1995, the
population
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 was healthy with all
age
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 groups consisting of more than 50% of
people
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 with an ideal
weight
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. In 2015
however
Linking Words
, only
people
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 within the
age
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 group of 20 to 29 had an ideal
weight
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. In 1995, more than 70% of the
population
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 aged 20 to 29 were ideal.
This
Linking Words
Add a missing verb
was
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reduced by 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 and 60% of the
people
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of
Change preposition
in
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 the
age
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 group 30 to 39 had an ideal
weight
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the rest 40% was equally distributed between the overweight and underweight categories. The older
population
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 consisted of the most underweight
people
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 compared to the rest of the
age
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 groups accounting for 40%. In 2015, three-quarters of the young
people
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 are ideal, and about 60% of the older
population
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 are overweight. There is a gradual decrease
of
Change preposition
in
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people
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 with an ideal
weight
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 until the
age
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 of 60
were
Correct your spelling
where
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about 60% are obese, more than 20% are overweight and only 5% are ideal.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words weight, age, population, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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