Some people think that schools do not do enough to teach young people about how to look after their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In the contemporary era, some of the individuals claim that pupil have the lack of adequate information concerning the causative factors for health problems due to the devoid of correlative courses in the education system. I lay my thought alongside
this
statement on account of the rate of obesity and going off the typical exercise increasingly have grown as the explanations of the majority of sickness amongst youngsters, which shows the futile consequence we gained over the time. On the one hand, despite the fact that some healthy training is taught to students, official statistics endorse that it is not sufficient. To clarify more,
although
young populations acquire some rudimentary hygienic skills in schools (including washing hands, brushing tooth teeth), these approaches do not encompass the vital factors bringing about diseases,
in particular
, in the long term.
On the other hand
, communities oftentimes see the surging number of desires for consumption of the ultra-processed food amidst minors, which, in turn, ensuing the
obese
Suggestion
obesity
crisis for offsprings.
Furthermore
, youngster’s life is rife with sedentary activities.
As a result
, deleterious healthy calamities are prevalent at an early age in society.
That is
to say, young people, are ignorant of the necessity of a healthy lifestyle for reaping the health and longevity. In conclusion, I utterly reaffirm that children should be acknowledged about the pivotal factors of health in the space of schooling as never before, meaning that authorities should plan ahead to put more strain on
such
subjects standing the students in good stead due to the more aware one becomes about unhealthy causation, the less illness could become pandemic in societies in the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Health education
  • Curriculum
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Diet
  • Exercise
  • Mental health
  • Hygiene
  • Practical skills
  • Responsibility
  • Collaboration
  • Long-term benefits
  • Reduced healthcare costs
  • Academic performance
  • Well-being
  • Comprehensive health programs
  • Positive outcomes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: