IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government should spend money on railways rather than road

These days, transportation has become a lifeline for many communities because modern systems have made travelling easier than in the past. Some individuals believe that governments should invest resources in building railways
instead
Linking Words
 of highways. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will support my opinion with examples. First of all, many people rely on roads for moving from one place to another. In today’s advanced era, most individuals own private vehicles, which allow them to travel conveniently. By using their own mode of transport, people can reach their destination more quickly
instead
Linking Words
 of depending on public transport
such
Linking Words
 as trains. Another reason why I disagree is that if the government spends money on road development rather than railways, citizens can save valuable time.
For instance
Linking Words
, by constructing more roads and lanes, people can choose from multiple routes
instead
Linking Words
 of being restricted to a limited railway network.
Additionally
Linking Words
, highways provide flexibility for both private and public transport, which benefits the wider population. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some believe that authorities should focus on railway construction, I strongly think that investments should be made in road networks. Personally, I believe that by developing roads, everyday life becomes more convenient and efficient.

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task
Add more real facts or numbers to show why roads save time for more people.
coherence
Explain more why each idea matters to the reader.
coherence
Use more link words to show flow and to join ideas.
stance
Clear view from the start and a direct answer to the task.
language
Good use of simple words and easy style.
structure
Well made plan with intro, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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