At the present time the population of some countries including a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of older people do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

These days, communities have various ranges of age do not live in the same areas, so we can see some
countries
have a majority of youth and fewer elderly
people
.
While
these kinds of populations have benefits, I still believe that cannot overshadow the drawbacks. On the one hand, societies with a
lot
of young generations have several merits.
Firstly
, these kinds of
countries
have a number of workers who can work in different parts of the
countries
that help
countries
to improve
such
as agriculture and tourist industries, factories, and so on;
additionally
, they can take care of older
people
.
Secondly
, if one country has a
lot
of young
people
, it is able to send them to other
countries
to learn new methods of development;
besides
, these communities come back and work in the sections that their country is poor in.
On the other hand
, the demerits of a
lot
of young
people
are varied. On the one side,
countries
with a
lot
of teenagers in the future
,
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will have too many old populations who will have to look after them;
consequently
, they will invest a great deal of money in
this
sector. On the other side, when society has more youth than adults, they have a
lot
of young citizens who do not have jobs;
as a result
, the figure of poor districts in
this
country will climb.
To conclude
, a
lot
of young generations from old ones have some good points for
countries
today;
In contrast
, they will become issues;
hence
, I believe that their bad points can eclipse the advantages.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
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Work on streamlining your ideas to avoid repetition and enhance clarity. Ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus can improve the coherence of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion that neatly wraps up your arguments.
task achievement
You raise good points about the benefits and drawbacks of having a youthful population.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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