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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer

#people #parents #time #work #children #support
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"These days It appears that the youth crime rate in the modern world is increasing at an alarming rate. Some people believe that it is mainly because of the lack of parental supervision of their children.
This
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 position will
thus
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 be analysed in the following paragraphs, supported by relevant examples.
Firstly
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, parents' increasing occupational commitments has limited their opportunities to educate children on moral qualities parents are left with no time to guide their children about the ethical norms of mankind. When left alone, children may spend their time watching TV or surfing the internet. They may
also
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 make friends with people outside of their social network.
Such
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 friendships can actually push children into wrong doing. They may develop bad habits like smoking, drinking or substance abuse. Since parents are absent for the most part of the day, they main remain ignorant of their children’s activities until it is too late. Youngsters coming from families where one or both parents are present throughout the day
also
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 get into crime. They are misled by several factors, including the violence shown on television and movies.
For Example
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 Poverty and lack of educational opportunities are all factors that encourage criminal activity among young people.
Moreover
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, teachers’ role is very important in a child's life. They are the key persons in building a society. But nowadays, they are merely teaching the subjects like Mathematics, Science and languages. They have to teach not only academic lessons which are useful for the future career of students, but
also
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 the social and emotional qualities need to improve in a youngster.
For example
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, in the developed countries, children are not respecting their teachers. I recently read a news article about a minor; the child went to school with a gun and shoot a couple of his classmates and a teacher and
then
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 he shot himself and died. In conclusion, I strongly believe that inadequate parental guidance is only one of the reasons for crime among young people
Submitted by chandu5385 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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