Nowadays children play computer games for long hours. They do not play old traditional games. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think it influences children in a good or bad way?

#children #computer #games #hours #influences

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Technology is influencing all the areas of life and entertainment is not an exception. Today's

children

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are always found busy playing

games

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on computers, which is not a very positive development. There are certain factors that prompt

children

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to play these

games

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First,

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computer

games

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are rich in graphics and have excellent background music.

Thus

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, they are visually more appealing and more entertaining as well.

Secondly

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, the lifelike graphical presentation on

screen

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the screen

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helps

children

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in having

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have

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real life

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real-life

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feeling when they play

games

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Finally

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, most parents nowadays are working and

thus

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, they avoid sending their

children

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to playgrounds because they think

children

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are not safe if they spend too much time away from home.

Therefor

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Therefore

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, parents keep motivating their

children

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to engage in some gaming activities at home.

This

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development affects the physical and mental health of

children

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.Let's consider the health problems first.

Children

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spend too much time sitting at the gaming console.

This

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can create potential problems in their back muscles and eyes.

Furthermore

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, most

children

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also

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eat junk food

while

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playing

games

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and their eating patterns become erratic and they often become victims of indigestion.

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a consequence,

this

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can lead to problems of obesity and

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being over-weight

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over-weight

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overweight

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In addition

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, now

lets

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let's

let us

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analyse mental implications. Playing computer

games

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over a long period of time hinders

psychological

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the psychological

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development of

children

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. What is more, some

games

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may contain explicit or violent content which can cause psychotic disorders in their tender times.

Finally

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, playing a game alone

also

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inhibits social interaction, which can result in

lack

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a lack

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of relevant skills

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apply

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them

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apply

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. Conclusively, even though, the condition often obliges parents to permit their

children

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to play

games

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on screen. I firmly believe that excessive exposure to computer

games

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is indeed harmful

for

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show examples

children

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Submitted by krinapatel369.kp5 on Mon Apr 13 2020

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task achievement

Consider adding a more balanced view by acknowledging any potential positive effects of playing computer games, even briefly.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a smooth transition between the discussion of physical and mental health impacts to enhance overall cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Consider using a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively within and between paragraphs.

task achievement

The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, covering both reasons for the shift to computer games and its influences.

task achievement

Clear main ideas are presented and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of graphics and parental influence.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction sets the context well, and the conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

291 words

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Nowadays children play computer games for long hours. They do not play old traditional games. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think it influences children in a good or bad way?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

people living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

When choosing a job the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People living in the twenty first century generally have a better quality of life than people who lived in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?