IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In many countries, children are getting fatter and less fit day by day. Why is it so suggest solutions?

#countries #children
Obesity has become a major issue in different nations. Teenagers are becoming unfit. Some of the reasons and preventive measures that can be taken are mentioned in upcoming paragraph.
To begin
 with, offsprings are becoming fatter, which is a sign of an unhealthy body.
Firstly
, they are not living a healthy lifestyle which means they are not doing any physical activity. Despite going out in the park and playing outdoor games
such
 as cricket, football, etc., they keep themselves indulged in gadgets.
Secondly
, over consumption of junk snack. Their parents are busy with their office work and after long working hours they are not in the condition to cook a meal so they prefer ordering meat from a restaurant which is not healthy and that diet does not provide proper nutrients. As every problem, come with a solution, like that,
this
 can
also
 be cured by following some of the measures. The school should make is compulsory of every student to do physical activity on a daily basis,
such
 as sports, yoga, dance class etc.
Moreover
, parents should understand their responsibility by focusing on their child's health. They must give them the feed full of nutrition as in the growing age, it is essential for a better functioning of the body. To wrap it up, the reason behind the unhealthy body is the improper lifestyle.
However
, that can be improved by adding some physical activity and healthy meal in daily routine.
Submitted by vatanjagga.uihtm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: