IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some families think the best way to take care of their aging parents is to care for them at home. Others believe that it is better for their parents to live in a special home for the elderly. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that older parents should be cured at
home
Use synonyms
 because they would like to express their responsibility to their old parents, and save money while others would rather let them stay in the aged
care
Use synonyms
 centre for better
care
Use synonyms
 and due to lack of
time
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I would like my old parents to stay at
home
Use synonyms
 for some reasons. I believe that letting aging parents stay at
home
Use synonyms
 will be better in terms of expense and responsibility.
Firstly
Linking Words
, offspring always love their parents, who have grown them up from babies until becoming adults, so they may feel unhappy if their parents live away from
home
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is rather costly to send them into homes for the elderly because offspring needs to pay the periodical expense, which covers fees on
care
Use synonyms
, food and entertainment.
However
Linking Words
, many people claim that they don’t have much
time
Use synonyms
 and enough facilities to
care
Use synonyms
 for their aging parents at
home
Use synonyms
. It may be understandable since most people have a full-
time
Use synonyms
 job, which requires them to contribute much of their
time
Use synonyms
 and energy at work.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they certainly feel tired when get
home
Use synonyms
, and ignore the
care
Use synonyms
 of their parents.
In addition
Linking Words
, the facilities at
home
Use synonyms
 are not able to be compared to a
care
Use synonyms
 centre’s.
For example
Linking Words
, the centres have a much bigger space and full of
care
Use synonyms
 equipment which old people are really interested. In conclusion, to show families’ responsibility to their aging parents and to reduce costs, the old parents should be cared for at
home
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if people actually don’t have much
time
Use synonyms
 or look for better
care
Use synonyms
 conditions for their parents, they may rely on the aging
care
Use synonyms
 centres.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: