IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays parents put too much of pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? Give your explanation using some relevant examples from your experience. Write your response not less than 250 words. You get 40 minutes to complete this task.

#parents #pressure #children #reason #development #explanation #minutes
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
technology
Suggestion
technological
 world, there is a pressure
being built
Suggestion
been built
 by the family members of the students, that
success
Use synonyms
 is the most vital factor to lead a better life. In my
opinion
Accept comma addition
opinion, this
this
Linking Words
 is preposterous and parents should understand the passion of the student
instead
Linking Words
 of running for
success
Use synonyms
. In todays world parents are compelling the children to a
stressfull
extremely irritating to the nerves
stressful
 environment towards studies.Let me explain in detail. The problem starts with comparison with other students and their educational standards. Children in todays society are clear in vision, of what exactly they want to do. Parents with ideas,
inconcern
Suggestion
in concern
 with the family members or friends, want to implement the same to children, putting them under psychological impacts.
For example
Linking Words
; we all know the famous
circketer
an athlete who plays cricket
cricketer
 Sachin Tendulkar who had given his best performance in the field of Cricket and stood as a role model for many youngsters.But the educational profile of Sachin, is
on
Suggestion
in
 a moderate way since from childhood. His parents had never felt bad about him and encouraged to pursue career in the field of cricket which he admires a lot. The career of Sachin in cricket history
,
Accept space
,
never felt his
parents
Suggestion
parents'
 decision was wrong. Another famous personality Mr. Dheeru Bhai Ambani started his business with a retail clothing shop, developed as one of the richest
person
Suggestion
people
persons
 in todays world. He had completed schooling education only; passion towards business drives him to think innovative ideas in a strategic approach. The ideas of him make every attempt
success
Use synonyms
 followed by a good leadership qualities.
Linking Words
Therefore I
Accept comma addition
Therefore, I
 want to conclude, there is no point in brainstorming the children with
parents
Suggestion
parents'
 views, rather than spending time with them, observing the interests and
guidence
something that provides direction or advice as to a decision or course of action
guidance
 to the path they want to become, is the key to
success
Use synonyms
 for any student.
Submitted by swarna.kikkisetti on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: