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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people aim to achieve a balane between their work and lives, but few people achieve it. what are the causes of this? how to overcome this problem?

In recent times, many individuals have attempted to reach a
balance
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 between their jobs and lives.
However
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, only a few
people
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 succeed. The long
work
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hours
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 is a major reason for
this
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 problem.
Therefore
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, one solution for
this
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 is reducing the long
work
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hours
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 weekly by the governments.
To begin
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 with, the long
work
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hours
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 for many
people
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 is a primary reason why they can not
balance
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 between their
work
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 and lives. Nowadays, many jobs require spending from 8 to 10
hours
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 a
day
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, and in many cases,
people
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 are forced to complete some of the remaining tasks at home.
This
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 situation creates high pressure on the person, preventing him from trying new things.
For example
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, In Saudi Arabia, many employees start their
day
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 early in the morning and finish at almost 5 PM, and
this
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 routine makes no time for other activities since most of them are tired by
this
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 time. In terms of solution, reducing the
work
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hours
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 weekly might help in creating a
balance
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 between the
work
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hours
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 and the rest of the
day
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. By doing
this
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,
people
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 will not be required to spend half of their
day
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 at the workplace. Individuals will have free time to practice their hobbies or learn new things.
For instance
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, in UA, a similar approach has been implemented. The governments reduced the working days from 5 to 4 days a week and
this
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 strategy showed significant success. In conclusion,
while
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 many
people
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 find it hard to
balance
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  their
work
Use synonyms
 and lives
due to
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 several reasons
such
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 as  the long
work
Use synonyms
hours
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, reducing these
hours
Use synonyms
 by the governments might lead to solving
this
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 problem.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain all parts of the question. Include more details about causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Add more connecting words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
positive
Your introduction clearly states the topic and main ideas.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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