IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Topic:- People no longer use newspapers and television because The Internet plays the same role as them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 live
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 technological earth,
a
Correct word choice
and a
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multitude of
Individual
Fix the agreement mistake
Individuals
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 can read
Use synonyms
news
Add an article
the news
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 by using
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 without watching
TV
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 and reading
newspapers
Use synonyms
. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore some reasons why most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 do not want to access
newspapers
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 and
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tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the modern
earth
Add a comma
earth,
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 a significant number of
people
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 never
practice
Verb problem
use
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newspapers
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 and television
for obtaining
Change preposition
to obtain
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news
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,
instead
Linking Words
 of
such
Linking Words
 stuff they use
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 to know the
news
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. There are several reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 incident. First and foremost, by using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can read
news
Use synonyms
 quickly and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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receive
updates
Wrong verb form
updated
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 on
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. In over the
nature
Add a comma
nature,
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 there are several online
news
Use synonyms
 sites available. A good illustration of
this
Linking Words
 is the Al Jazeera website which is
well-known
Correct article usage
a well-known
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 online
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newspapers
Fix the agreement mistake
newspaper
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
that
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publish
Correct subject-verb agreement
publishes
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news
Use synonyms
 every single hour. So
people
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 can know what is going
in
Change preposition
on in
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 the world by visiting
this
Linking Words
 website.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, if
people
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 need
newspapers
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for getting
Change preposition
to get
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news
Use synonyms
, they will receive
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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24 hour
Add a hyphen
24-hour
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 but
people
Use synonyms
 will not obtain
updates
Wrong verb form
updated
show examples
news
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason
Add a comma
reason,
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 I think
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Correct article usage
the internet’s
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internet’s
Change the noun form
internets
internet
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is the best option to receive
news
Use synonyms
 than the
newspapers
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 and
TV
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. Another noteworthy motive is that individuals are able to save their money and time by reading the
news
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because they do not need to pay money for
this
Linking Words
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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people
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 are able to read
news
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 on
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 from anywhere, particularly the home, office, and stations.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 they can read several
newspapers
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 here
such
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 as Independence, Daily Star, and Independence, so
people
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 can read whatever they want.
As a consequence
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,
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Remove the redundancy
apply
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like to read
news
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 on
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet’s
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internet’s
Change the noun form
internets
internet
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instead
Linking Words
 of watching
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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 and reading
newspapers
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, at the present time, many
people
Use synonyms
 like to
usage
Replace the word
use
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet’s
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internet’s
Change noun form
internet
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for obtaining
Change preposition
to obtain
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 updates,
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news
Correct word choice
and news
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 because online all
news
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 sites provide
every hour
Add a hyphen
every-hour
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news
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
newspapers
Use synonyms
 can not publish hourly
news
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. Repercussions I agree with
this
Linking Words
 view.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure you have clear paragraphs with one main idea each. This helps your essay flow better.
Task Achievement
Try to use more varied and specific examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to make your ideas easier to read.
Task Achievement
You clearly state your agreement with the topic in the introduction, which is good.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant reasons for why people use the internet for news instead of newspapers or TV.
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