IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People should stop using their mobile phones when they are with other people

#people #phones
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
 essay, I will be exploring do people should stop using their mobile phones when they are with other people. I will show how much I agree with
this
 opinion and why. I will give reasons and examples to support my arguments, as well. Nowadays people increasingly using the mobile phone when they are with other people. Very often can be seen, people on their mobile phones in many different places,
such
 as the streets, public transport or restaurants during the lunch.
This
 frequent use of mobiles maybe is sometimes caused a negative impact, especially of our social relationship.
However
, it is thought
that is
 overstating opinion.
First
 of all, people use their mobile, call up, but not excessively.
This
 is because the rules of politeness still exist in the social life.
For example
; is not unusual to see people in a cafe or restaurant which speaking together, while their mobile phone still leaves on the table. It is important to mention, how big convenience give mobile phones to afford us. We have contact with important for us people all time.
For example
; if someone is going to arrive late to a meeting, they can simply send a text message to other people which waiting. So, the mobile dial helps us with communication with other people. Taking everything into account, in my opinion, the argument that people should stop using their mobile phones when they are with other people is far too overstated. Mobile contact is a part of our life and can be used while we meet with others.
Submitted by olaola1888 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: