IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school some people believe that this has negative development while others think there are some benefits Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #time #work #school #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 fast paced world,i
n
Accept space
,
dividuals have to spend enough
time
Use synonyms
 for travelling fr
om w
Suggestion
for
ork or school.
However
Linking Words
,s
o
Accept space
,
me folks uphold it as a positive trend whilst ot
her h
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
ave reservation about it.From my point of view,
this
Linking Words
 statement proper sc
rutinization b
Suggestion
efore forming any opinion. On the one hand,
t
Linking Words
h
Accept space
,
is statement ha
s has s
Suggestion
has
is having
was having
has had
had
ome adverse effect.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost,t
r
Accept space
,
avelling a lot can create the atmosphere of stress and efficiency.
he
Linking Words
nce,
(used to introduce a logical conclusion) from that fact or reason or as a result
Hence
this
Linking Words
 trend may affect the health of the individuals.
Moreover
Linking Words
,c
o
Accept space
,
mmuting by cars and personal vehicles from far may eventually lead traffic problems and detrimental impact on environment as burning hefty sum of fuel is hazardous for the society.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, spending more
time
Use synonyms
 while travelling may affect the civilians mentally as people would get ir
ritate a
Suggestion
irritated
nd frustrate to following the same travelling daily routine.A recent survey of Ti
mes o
Suggestion
the Times
f India revealed,6
5
Accept space
,
percent of workers are upset as they do not able to spend enough
time
Use synonyms
 with their families due to the wastage of
time
Use synonyms
 in
travel
Use synonyms
 to of
fice.
Suggestion
the office
 Having said that, there is
also
Linking Words
 an an
other s
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
ide.People are travelling a lot as they want to save money as ma
jority o
Suggestion
the majority
f people and students have their wo
rk places a
a place where work is done
workplaces
nd schools in metropolitan cities and renting a house would be more expensive and unaffordable for middle class people.
As a result
Linking Words
, they prefer to
travel
Use synonyms
 more rather than paying rent.
In addition
Linking Words
,m
o
Accept space
,
st of the individual commute more regularly due to their family member as they would be able to spend some
time
Use synonyms
 with their family members and share the everyday experience with them.To exemplify:-
Accept space
:
My father used to
travel
Use synonyms
 around 60 km everyday from home, merely to give fe
w hours t
Suggestion
a few hours
o our family. To conclude, after gauging both the vi
e
Accept space
,
w,I opine that
travel
Use synonyms
 a lot may have som
e disadvantages b
Accept comma addition
disadvantages, but
ut
this
Linking Words
 trend help individual to maintain the balance between workplace and family member for the better foreseeable future

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: