Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples

this

Linking Words

day and age, young generations tend to start up because they enjoy facing the difficulties of being

entrepreneurs

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of working from night to five with a salary paid. From my point of view, the benefits of starting up outweigh the drawbacks. First and foremost, individuals, who decide to be

entrepreneurs

Use synonyms

, have several chances to do anything they want. Nowadays, people are keen on

this

Linking Words

advantage

instead

Linking Words

of working under the control of their boss. It helps them have opportunities to create wonderful things comfortably.

For instance

Linking Words

, if you

work

Use synonyms

in an organization, you have to meet the requirements of a superior officer. Your creativity may not bring appreciation to you, even though you can be fined by

this

Linking Words

undisciplined person.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, being self-employed can help

entrepreneurs

Use synonyms

earn a lot of money. In fact, almost all billionaires in the world are

entrepreneurs

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some drawbacks to being self-employed.

Firstly

Linking Words

, Individuals will spend lots of time working

instead

Linking Words

of using 8

hours

Use synonyms

when they

work

Use synonyms

in a company. Sometimes they accept having less time for their family to complete their job.

For example

Linking Words

, everyone has 24

hours

Use synonyms

per day like each other.

While

Linking Words

workers

work

Use synonyms

eight

hours

Use synonyms

and have 16

hours

Use synonyms

to enjoy their lives, businesses do not even have time to sleep.

Moreover

Linking Words

entrepreneurs

Use synonyms

suffer from serious pressure to earn more money than others. In the early stage, they usually

work

Use synonyms

with a few people so they can

work

Use synonyms

several situations to ensure their company can be active at a cheap cost. If they have a big holding, they have to ensure the lives of thousands of staff. In conclusion, starting up brings lots of advantages for citizens to have new challenges and complete themselves. More than that, different from others,

entrepreneurs

Use synonyms

can make dreams come true.

duongntt.tldThu May 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

To enhance task response, ensure that each point is thoroughly developed with more examples and evidence. This will strengthen your argument and provide a more complete response to the question.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, try to use more transition words to smoothly link ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will create a more logical flow in your essay.

structure

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

clarity

You have presented clear and comprehensive ideas, making it easy for the reader to understand your points.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?
There has been an ongoing debate regarding the lack of female representatives in the structure of companies, especially in higher-level positions. Many have adopted the view that it should be mandatory for firms to assign a significant share of women to those jobs and I am a strong proponent of that idea.
6.5
band
It Is Neither Possible Nor Useful For A Country To Provide Univesity Places For A High Proportion Of Young People . To What Extent Do You Agree Or Disagree?
It's said that it was impossible for a country to provide more universities for a large number of students. I personally disagree with this statement because of the involvement of governments and funds. These are possible to open more places for the university.
7
band
Music plays a vital role in our country. How much has music influenced the way we think today? What do you think is the key role of music in today's world?
Recently, the popularity of music has grown at an unprecedented rate. However, it can be witnessed that it has immensely impacted our thinking, and it plays an instrumental role in today's societies. In my opinion, music is consequential because it supports academic development and preserves cultural identity.
7.5
band
Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the contemporary era, right from birth to death, most of our efforts are concerned with the fulfilment of basic needs. Although it is believed by major strata of society that seniors' lives are much better than before, several people opine that living in old age is worse. This essay intends to analyse both viewpoints, however, based on the latter thought.
7.5
band
it is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people argue that some individuals have an innate ability for games and music arts, while others claim that any person can be good in these fields with training. While inherited talented people do not require too much training, I believe that with self-inspiration and proper training, a person can excel in any field.

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

It Is Neither Possible Nor Useful For A Country To Provide Univesity Places For A High Proportion Of Young People . To What Extent Do You Agree Or Disagree?

Music plays a vital role in our country. How much has music influenced the way we think today? What do you think is the key role of music in today's world?

Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

it is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. discuss both views and give your opinion.