The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. School should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people think that students need to concentrate on practical subjects
such
Linking Words
as information technology to prepare for a modern world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, school should put more stress on these subjects and remove
art
Use synonyms
and
music
Use synonyms
out of the syllabus. While I agree that practical subjects should be emphasized, I believe
art
Use synonyms
and
music
Use synonyms
still play an important role. On the one hand, I agree that practical subjects need to be focused on because they prepare students for their future career.
For instance
Linking Words
, information technology is the basis for many jobs in the modern world
such
Linking Words
as accountant or office worker. Some other jobs in economics and related field
also
Linking Words
require maths, physics and certain theoretical subjects. Without the knowledge of these subjects, it will be difficult for students to work efficiently in their jobs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I would argue that
although
Linking Words
students don’t need
art
Use synonyms
and
music
Use synonyms
in their future career, these subjects still have certain benefits as they can bring happiness to one’s life.
For instance
Linking Words
, studies have shown that classical
music
Use synonyms
can make people feel more relaxed and avoid negative feelings. Another case is that creating
art
Use synonyms
like drawing or painting a picture can give you an absolutely rewarding and a sense of happiness. That’s why
arts
Suggestion
the arts
are
also
Linking Words
important and should not be ignored. In conclusion, while I agree that it is good to help children to focus on theoretical subjects, arts should not be cut out of the syllabus since they can make people happy and satisfied.
Submitted by minhtuantom7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: