Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects such as reading, writing, and math in elementary schools. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #computer #skills #subjects #math #schools

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Humanity's reliance on

computers

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has been increasing exponentially throughout the

last

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decades.

As a result

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this

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, a group of people are now in favour of integrating computer

skills

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within elementary school curriculums as a primary subject like math, reading, and writing. I, too, strongly agree with

this

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notion that people should develop an

aptude

Correct your spelling

aptitude

for

computers

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at an age when knowledge is more likely to become bonified. An overwhelming majority of us can agree that

computers

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have now become the standard way of working in most industries. Employees are not only expected to work with the assistance of

computers

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, but it is highly likely that those preferring not to do so will grossly underperform compared to their colleagues

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

take advantage of

computers

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' ability to seamlessly carry out time-consuming calculations.

Therefore

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, those of us who have adopted the

skills

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needed to operate

computers

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with ease during elementary school will easily surpass

their

Correct pronoun usage

our

show examples

counterparts,

while

Linking Words

those

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

have neglected to develop an aptitude

with

Change preposition

for

show examples

computers

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are doomed to a struggle to catch up.

For instance

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, consider a person working at the management office of a construction company. Most construction companies now rely on software solutions like

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

CRM

tool

Fix the agreement mistake

tools

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

, not having gained the necessary

skills

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to understand the computer interface that their CRM solution relies on will mean that they will have the extra challenge of developing these

skills

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while

Linking Words

carrying out their other tasks at the same time.

However

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, a colleague who had developed these

skills

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at a young age would find it much easier to operate the aforementioned software. In conclusion, improving one's aptitude with

computers

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is rapidly becoming a requirement rather than

choice

Correct article usage

a choice

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in the workplace.

This

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, in conjunction with the many benefits that accompany a solid aptitude with

computers

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, is sure to make it a major benefit for the future

for

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show examples

elementary school students.

Submitted by denisbeytekin on Sat Jul 27 2024

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task achievement

To improve your task achievement, consider addressing potential counterarguments. This will show a deeper understanding of the topic and provide a more balanced view. Including this will demonstrate a higher level of critical thinking.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. While the essay flows relatively well, linking sentences or phrases can enhance overall coherence. For example, using transitional phrases like 'Furthermore,' or 'In contrast,' can help.

coherence cohesion

Clarify and expand on complex ideas to ensure they're fully developed and easy to follow. More detailed explanations can add depth and enrich your argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively frame the main argument, which provides a strong start and end to the essay.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the main points, which strengthens the argument.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure is mostly clear, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point. This helps in maintaining a focused argument throughout the essay.

task achievement

The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, making it easy for the reader to follow the writer’s line of reasoning.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects such as reading, writing, and math in elementary schools. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their works from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.