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Band 5.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
There are numerous ways for
companies
 to advertise their products, they even emphasize that theirs are the newest ones. It happened to follow the trend so that they can defend their businesses and I believe it will bring positive development. It is undebatable that businessmen will endeavour their
companies
' growth. One of the positive effects resulting from the aforementioned action is through the activity,
companies
show
 their innovation which results in more attention from
customers
.
Therefore
, they will indirectly obtain more benefits through their innovative ways.
for example
, "Apple" will always innovate new gadgets or technology in order to satisfy its
customers
. Their techniques of advertising bring them to lead the technology
companies
 in the world.
In addition
,
companies
 that practically apply the trend
show
 that they are up-to-date businesses. Innovating and showing that they have new products will make them become
companies
 that can follow the trend. It
also
 strengthens their existence in the world
market
.
For instance
, many retail
companies
 will produce a new style of dress to
show
 their characteristics. It leads them to be well-known in their own
market
. Not only for the
companies
 but the
customers
also
 can get the benefits, because they do not have much time to know which style is trending nowadays. In conclusion, businesses that advertise their products by telling something new and bringing innovation to the
market
 will be well-known by
customers
.
Furthermore
, It can
also
show
 their existence and make them stronger in
market
 competition. Not only that, Customer will find it easier to choose their needs from the advertisements provided.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear outline of the points you'll discuss in the essay. The introduction could better signal the forthcoming structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by creating smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use a varied range of linking words and cohesive devices.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific and detailed examples. The examples you've provided are a bit general. More concrete and elaborate examples could strengthen your argument and increase your score.
task achievement
Address different views on the issue to fully meet the task's requirements. You could add a paragraph that considers possible negative consequences of this trend, before concluding with your own stance.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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