The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. School should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people think that
students
need to concentrate on practical Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
such
as information technology to prepare for Linking Words
a
modern world. Correct article usage
the
Therefore
, Linking Words
school
should put more stress on these Fix the agreement mistake
schools
subjects
and remove Use synonyms
art
and Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
out of
the syllabus. Change preposition
from
While
I agree that practical Linking Words
subjects
should be emphasized, I believe Use synonyms
art
and Use synonyms
music
still play an important role.
On the one hand, I agree that practical Use synonyms
subjects
need to be focused on because they prepare Use synonyms
students
for their future Use synonyms
career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
For instance
, information technology is the basis for many jobs in the modern world Linking Words
such
as accountant or office worker. Some other jobs in economics and related Linking Words
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
also
require maths, physics and certain theoretical Linking Words
subjects
. Without the knowledge of these Use synonyms
subjects
, it will be difficult for Use synonyms
students
to work efficiently in their jobs.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, I would argue that Linking Words
although
Linking Words
students
don’t need Use synonyms
art
and Use synonyms
music
in their future Use synonyms
career
, these Fix the agreement mistake
careers
subjects
still have certain benefits as they can bring happiness to one’s life. Use synonyms
For instance
, studies have shown that classical Linking Words
music
can make people feel more relaxed and avoid negative feelings. Another case is that creating Use synonyms
art
like drawing or painting a picture can give you an absolutely rewarding Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
a
sense of happiness. That’s why arts are Correct article usage
apply
also
important and should not be ignored.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
I agree that it is good to help children Linking Words
to
focus on theoretical Verb problem
apply
subjects
, arts should not be cut out of the syllabus since they can make people happy and satisfied.Use synonyms
Submitted by minhtuantom7 on
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relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments further. For example, mention specific jobs or industries that heavily rely on information technology.
logical structure
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas for better flow. Consider using more linking words or phrases to enhance coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to understand the writer's position.
complete response
The response clearly addresses all parts of the task, discussing both the importance of practical subjects and the role of art and music.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented are generally clear and comprehensible, and the main points are adequately supported with reasoning.