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Band 5

Some people believe that can sports man earn more money than a good business man. Do you agree or disagree . Give specific idea with specific examples.

#people #sports #man #money #business #idea
Nowadays, sports are becoming
better source
Suggestion
a better source
 to earn money, many individuals want to become athletic. A common belief is that successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important
business
 professions. It is a controversial issue, but I would agree with the statement
.
Accept space
.
This
 essay will explore some income source of a
sports
someone who engages in sports
sportsman
man
, and some are
business
. On the one hand, players are able earn much wealth than others professionals because they have
number
Suggestion
a number
 of income sources.
First
 and foremost, they receive a big amount of salary from government and club. Professional players know millions of fans will watch the games. TV
networks
Accept comma addition
networks, then
then
 sell ads for cars, pizza and lots of other stuff that they show during the games. A good illustration of
this
 is a football star Ronaldo, who is well-know player and he receives a large amount of salary from authority and
club
Suggestion
the club
clubs
, as well as he is able to earn by making ads, several companies offer him for acting ads. As a consequence, it can be said that a sportsman can earn more than
business
man
 or other professionals.
On the other hand
,
business
 is
popular way
Suggestion
a popular way
 of
develop
Suggestion
developing
 career because it is a convenient source. Most of the prosperous people are
business
a person engaged in commercial or industrial business (especially an owner or executive)
businessman
man
, they do several kinds of
business
 in their platforms like technological trade, electronic parts and other businesses, those
are profitable trades
Suggestion
trades are profitable
. But a businessman will not get any financial support from government after retirement. Whereas a Football star will obtain a sizeable amount of stimulus from
bureaucrat
Suggestion
a bureaucrat
bureaucrats
.
Also there
Accept comma addition
Also, there
 is a
different
Suggestion
difference
 between
business
man
 and
sportsman
Suggestion
a sportsman
,
that is
 fans, a player have
multitude
Suggestion
a multitude
 of fans whereas businessmen has no plenty of fans. In conclusion,
this
 essay discussed about some income sources of sportsman and businessmen, but it proved that players are able to earn more than businessmen. Repercussions I support
with
Suggestion
to
this
 view.
Submitted by azizurrahmanmona on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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