Some people believe that can sports man earn more money than a good business man. Do you agree or disagree . Give specific idea with specific examples.

#people #sports #man #money #business #idea

Nowadays, sports are becoming

better source

Suggestion

a better source

to earn money, many individuals want to become athletic. A common belief is that successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important

business

professions. It is a controversial issue, but I would agree with the statement

Accept space

This

essay will explore some income source of a

sports

someone who engages in sports

sportsman

man

, and some are

business

. On the one hand, players are able earn much wealth than others professionals because they have

number

Suggestion

a number

of income sources.

First

and foremost, they receive a big amount of salary from government and club. Professional players know millions of fans will watch the games. TV

networks

Accept comma addition

networks, then

then

sell ads for cars, pizza and lots of other stuff that they show during the games. A good illustration of

this

is a football star Ronaldo, who is well-know player and he receives a large amount of salary from authority and

club

Suggestion

the club

clubs

, as well as he is able to earn by making ads, several companies offer him for acting ads. As a consequence, it can be said that a sportsman can earn more than

business

man

or other professionals.

On the other hand

business

popular way

Suggestion

a popular way

develop

Suggestion

developing

career because it is a convenient source. Most of the prosperous people are

business

a person engaged in commercial or industrial business (especially an owner or executive)

businessman

man

, they do several kinds of

business

in their platforms like technological trade, electronic parts and other businesses, those

are profitable trades

Suggestion

trades are profitable

. But a businessman will not get any financial support from government after retirement. Whereas a Football star will obtain a sizeable amount of stimulus from

bureaucrat

Suggestion

a bureaucrat

bureaucrats

Also there

Accept comma addition

Also, there

is a

different

Suggestion

difference

between

business

man

and

sportsman

Suggestion

a sportsman

that is

fans, a player have

multitude

Suggestion

a multitude

of fans whereas businessmen has no plenty of fans. In conclusion,

this

essay discussed about some income sources of sportsman and businessmen, but it proved that players are able to earn more than businessmen. Repercussions I support

with

Suggestion

this

view.

Submitted by azizurrahmanmona on Wed Apr 15 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
International communities should act immediately to encourage countries to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as oil and gas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think international communities should act quickly to moderate of consumption of fossil fuels,such as oil and gas.But it is uncomfortable for people.
4.5
band
In many cities, there are areas of land that are used as parks. With increasing population levels, these areas would be better used to provide more housing. Do you agree or disagree?
There are many areas of land that currently used as parks in many regions. Some community argue that it would be better to convert these areas to residential areas to provide more housing. I agree with the idea because even though parks are important, but housing availability is more important when population level are increasing.
7
band
Many claims that the fast-food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that the convenience food industry had a devastating impact on our surroundings and families as well as influenced unhealthy eating habits. This essay completely agrees with this statement because of the negative impacts and challenges that it has contributed to the environment and the community. This essay will examine my views in detail with relevant examples.
7
band
Some people believe that government should financially support retired people others feel that those who have retired pay to support themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
After crossing the age of 60 people need more attention and financial support. Certain individuals believe that it is the responsibility of the country's ministry to fulfil their needs. However, on the same scale, others argue that they should pay for their basic commodities on their own. This essay will discuss both viewpoints and give my opinion.
5
band
Some people think that the modern communication technology is having negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that the social networking site can lead to the drawbacks of society’s relationships. From this writer’s perspective, e-communication is the better way because of the convenience and globalization.

Some people believe that can sports man earn more money than a good business man. Do you agree or disagree . Give specific idea with specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

International communities should act immediately to encourage countries to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as oil and gas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many cities, there are areas of land that are used as parks. With increasing population levels, these areas would be better used to provide more housing. Do you agree or disagree?

Many claims that the fast-food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that government should financially support retired people others feel that those who have retired pay to support themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?