The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#road #safety #punishments #offences

It is often argued that high speed causes many accidents with the pedestrians and cars. Some people might think that the best method to decrease road accident is to implement more stronger policies for people who drive so fast. I strongly agree that idea and

this

essay will address the perspective of rapid drive.

First

of all, people would live their

life

safely in their society when the punishments are reinforced. Giving tickets to fast drivers affect the rate of car accidents and

then

it leads the safety of inhabitants’

life

For example

, people can walk and cross the road very smoothly because the drivers cannot go quickly because if they are not attending the law, they might receive an expensive violation ticket by police.

Furthermore

, people do not worry about the car accident anymore.

Moreover

, fast driving may harm people’s health.

In other words

, when vehicles operate so

quick

Suggestion

quickly

, the creation of noise would happen and

then

people could suffer the mental disease due to the noisy cars. And

also

, rapid vehicles would create so much emission gas because of the high speed it

also

deteriorates individuals’ health

such

as lung cancer.

For instance

, when the cars drive so fast like a lightning, their emission gas pollutes

air

Accept comma addition

air, then

then

the environment of the community is destroyed. It makes

also

people’s health bad which means their

life

goes unhappy because they are frightened by unstable cars. In conclusion, all transportations are very necessary to our

life

in spite of the fact that it affects many accidents.

However

, I would say that government must give warnings for aggressive people who potentially harm

another

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

pedestrians. The powerful punishments are required to protect people in our society.

Submitted by davidjeong90 on Wed Apr 15 2020

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

deter
reckless behavior
psychological deterrence
adhere
penalties
awareness campaigns
knowledge and skills
technological solutions
advanced safety features
automatic braking systems
lane departure warnings
traffic surveillance
enforce laws
socio-economic impact
disproportionately
broader social issues
community engagement
road safety culture
collective responsibility

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