IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Today, more and more people want things instantly (goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the current era, people increasingly require everything
appears
Correct pronoun usage
that appears
show examples
 immediately,
such
Linking Words
 as goods, news and
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
. The primary reason for
this
Linking Words
 is the lack of
time
Use synonyms
 in
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
. In light of
this
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 writer
contend
Change the verb form
contends
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 trend has many positive effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society by revolutionizing it.
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
 crucial to acknowledge that the problem of lacking
time
Use synonyms
 has been at the forefront of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public awareness
due to
Linking Words
 the increasingly higher pace of living. In many nations around the world, industrious workers often spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
 on businesses and
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 often leads to little
time
Use synonyms
 for their families and for themselves
therefore
Linking Words
, to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little
worth
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, people require everything
arives
Correct your spelling
to arrive
 immediately. Take Nguyen Khuyen
high school
Correct your spelling
High School
show examples
 in Vietnam as a compelling example, where teachers in grade 12 go on teaching in schools at the
time
Use synonyms
 their children
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 sleeping and back to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 homes at the
time
Use synonyms
 their children start to sleep.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they really need to save
time
Use synonyms
 and they always demand everything to be faster than ever. Another point
next
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
worth consideration is that
this
Linking Words
 trend has a variety of superior impacts on the social revolution. The more demands for every simple kind of
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
, the more supplies are going to
offer
Wrong verb form
be offered
show examples
 to meet all of these demands.
Thus
Linking Words
, it promotes the process of industrialization and urbanization,
above all
Linking Words
, our society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more likely to be modern and better.
Hence
Linking Words
, if individuals demanded
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
immediate things, the world would
be developed
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 rapidly by supplying their
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
. In conclusion, the lack of
time
Use synonyms
drive
Correct subject-verb agreement
drives
show examples
 individuals to require every single
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
 faster. And
this
Linking Words
 would lead to many positive developments
around
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Try to develop your ideas further and provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help clarify your points and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a range of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance coherence and cohesion, making your points more connected and easier to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which effectively outlines your argument. This is positive for the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Task Achievement
You adequately address all parts of the task, presenting clear opinions about the instantaneous need for goods, services, and news as well as its implications.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: