More people now work overseas. What are the reasons why people are doing so? Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

We live in an age when many of us like to secure our future in
countries
which are more prosperous than ours, on the ground that these foreign lands offer satisfying job opportunities and prudent
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
. There are some positive and negative things about
this
trend, but in my opinion, it has more advantages than disadvantages and the following essay will discuss them both in
details
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detail
show examples
. To embark on, the fundamental to
this
migration involves the disappointment of earning class and
struggle
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the struggle
show examples
of job seekers living in their native country. These
people
, needless to say, look for opportunities which are suitable to them in more affluent
countries
. The
people
shifted
Correct pronoun usage
who shifted
show examples
to these
countries
have better earning sources and many other benefits which they may take advantage of. To illustrate,
people
in India are migrating to Canada as permanent
residences
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residents
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and
work
Wrong verb form
working
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there in
hope
Correct article usage
the hope
show examples
that their children could have the chance to study
in
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at
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world-class universities.
Moreover
, working overseas will enrich and broaden the life experience of the employed class there. They have the chance to visit many significant and historical places in the new country, learn a new language, and make new friends. Despite all the positive things about working overseas, there are some negative things that
people
should notice. There is a chance of a culture shock for the newly shifted person, as there may be some traditions and customs that might not fit with them.
For example
, many
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
people
might not be accustomed to the culture of the Japanese
people
who bow to greet other
people
. And
then
, there might be some difficulties for the workers in adapting the local foods. Many
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
people
are not comfortable with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Asian foods
due to
most of them
are using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
spices and chilli. In conclusion, it is true that
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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of
people
who are settling overseas
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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increasing these days to reap the benefits from the bright sides of rich
countries
, yet there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
negative aspects like dealing with a new culture and the environment
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
which
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
becomes adaptable with time.
Submitted by abhinavajmani on

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Task Response
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing reasons why people work overseas and evaluating the trend's advantages and disadvantages. The examples provided support the argument well.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing the advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion summarizing the main points. Some transitions could be improved for smoother flow between ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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