some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams such as football. other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming or running. discuss both views and give your own opinion

It is considered by many people that participating in sports which are played in teams

such

as football is more advantageous for players than who play by themselves. Other people prefer to take part in individual sports like swimming or running. While I understand that playing individual sports makes

substantial contribution

Suggestion

a substantial contribution

in boosting up the independence, in my perspective,

team

sports are a smarter choice because not only do they advance

paticipants’

discipline

but

also

create more motivation.

To begin

with, individual sports are really helpful to make players more independent because they have no one to rely on. Their success entirely depends on their own efforts, just the athletes himself

carrys

Suggestion

carry

carries

are carrying

him though the competition.

For instance

, my little brother

has played

Suggestion

played

tennis for 2 years, and he makes everyone

surpised

taken unawares or suddenly and feeling wonder or astonishment

surprised

by showing his independence from

such

Suggestion

young age of seven. He loves tennis so much that he goes to the tennis court himself and he always try his best to be stronger day by day. My parents believe that he becomes more and more self-reliant thanks to playing tennis.

However

, it is undeniable that playing sports in

team

improve the

discipline

and create more training motivation for players.

Although

people tend to relax and be easy on themselves when practicing on their own, as a

team

member, he/she is usually more responsible to not affect the other teammates. Take myself as an example, I am taking part in both basketball and running. I always attend basketball practice on

time regardless

Accept comma addition

time, regardless

of bad weather, but I easily reschedule my running session when it rains. My story clearly illustrates that

team

sports are better than individual one in term of their incentive and

discipline

to players. In conclusion, there is no doubt that both individual and

team

sports are good for

paticipants but

Accept comma addition

participants, but

participants but

I prefer

team

sports than individual sports because of the outstanding benefits they provide

such

discipline

and motivation.

Submitted by trannhaind98 on Thu Apr 16 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

323 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams such as football. other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming or running. discuss both views and give your own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find interesting.

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their productss are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

More and more people prefer to buy readymade food from restaurants or convenience stores instead of cooking for themselves. What are the advantages and the disadvantages of this? Write at least 250 words.

Some people believe it is important to spend a lot on family celebration while others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

: It is important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?