IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is better for young people to get advice from old people than young ones. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #advice #ones
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to some people youngsters should get advice from their seniors rather than their peers. I can only partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 view. While I do admit that our elders are wiser and more experienced than us, they may not always be able to give advice
that is
Linking Words
 appropriate for the age we live in. On the one hand, our parents and grandparents have lived much longer than us. Thanks to the vast experience they have, they are a treasure of wisdom. Elders can be role models for young people who are still exploring the early stage of their
life
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, young people can learn from the mistakes of seniors. Getting advice from elders prevents them from going astray and committing the same mistakes that
old
Suggestion
older
 people have made.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, since many old people had fewer opportunities to receive formal education, their thoughts tend to be more rigid and traditional.
For instance
Linking Words
, my 85-year-old grandmother still believes in the conservative Confucian theory that women are inferior to men. In her opinion, women should stay at home and take care of children.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many seniors are highly superstitious and refuse to accept scientific wisdom. Many of them even refuse to consult a doctor when they fall ill and
instead
Linking Words
 choose to follow some home remedies they learned from their parents. While some of these remedies have some scientific grounds, others are hazardous to our health and safety. To conclude, old people are worthy of youngsters’ respect. There are always important lessons that young people can learn when seniors share their
life
Use synonyms
 stories. At the same time, their values and outlooks on
life
Use synonyms
 tend to be traditional and may not always suit our
life
Use synonyms
 and times.
Submitted by tummala143 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: