IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Do you believe that self-driving cars will become common in the near future? Why or why not? Support your answer with reasons and expamles from your own knowledge or experience.

#cars #future #support #expamles
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Thanks to the development of modern transportation where
people
 are now introduced to a new feature to drive a
car
 which is known as self-driving . Several years ago,
people
 drove a
car
 with control of their hands, it needed intended focus to carefully operating the wheel,
however
, the recent development in transportation is now being paid attention to because of several reasons which appear within society. Self-driving cars can be a great option for
people
To begin
 with,
people
 started to use cars with self-driving features which is very useful.
Firstly
,
this
 is because the feature allows the driver to operate the
car
 without being afraid of undergoing an accident on the road.
Consequently
, driving will be safer and
reliable
Correct quantifier usage
more reliable
show examples
 for
people
 who are still nervous about driving a
car
.
Secondly
, a
car
 can be driven by itself through self-driving features, so, the user can do other things
while
 sitting in the
car
.
As a result
, the user can prepare their necessity in the
car
 which is heading to the location.
In addition
, with
this
 advance in transportation, the usage of cars will increase significantly.
This
 is because the amount of
people
 who use the
car
 will be more and lead to traffic congestion.
however
, using self-driving can be a way to avoid those problems because it does not have a selfish manner that can create traffic congestion.
As a result
, the traffic will be managed properly.
Besides
, purchasing a
car
 will be able to incur taxes for the government, so, other facilitation can be increased.
This
 led to the advance of the nation where we live.
To conclude
,
people
 have to be aware of the possibility that will occur on the road.
Thus
,
this
 feature
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 able to be a better option for purchasing a
car
 and is considered a new driving assistance.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas. Try using more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
While you provide some reasons why self-driving cars would be beneficial, your essay could be made stronger with more specific examples or evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion needs to be more precise and should summarize the main points discussed in the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay introduces the topic well and addresses the prompt adequately.
task achievement
Your writing shows a good understanding of the potential benefits of self-driving cars.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomous vehicles
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • innovations
  • technological revolution
  • smart infrastructure
  • regulatory framework
  • safety protocols
  • mass adoption
  • user trust
  • green technology
  • carbon footprint
  • disruptive technology
  • labor displacement
  • economic efficiency
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