IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say that giving a small amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. Do you agree or disagree

#people #amount #money #children
Money
 is a prerequisite for surviving in today’s world.
Therefore
, to instil its value to juvenile, one school of thought avers that, parents should bestow weekly
pocket
money
 since, it would help them to use it judiciously. I concur with the statement and, explain my arguments in the following paragraphs with examples. At the outset, weekly
pocket
money
 moulds the thinking of children regarding its utilization. They would spend it wisely because, they are well aware with the fact that they do not get any extra amount for the
next
 seven days.
For example
, a survey by leading newspaper had revealed that, more than 80% of children who get small amount once a week would spend it on essential things and, care
their
people in general
they
 brought possessions as much as possible since, if anything would be broken, they have to buy it again from their
pocket
money
.
Furthermore
, while managing
pocket
money
 children would
also
 comprehend its indispensable role in once life. Thereby, they would commence saving
money
 for their future. In
this
 way, they will learn financial management skills which are the need of the day. To illustrate, a study of ‘Financial School of World’ had revealed that, people who had learned the strategy of financial management in their childhood can not only comfortably handle the financial crises but
also
 resolve it promptly without borrowing
money
 from friends. To conclude,
although
, weekly allowance has numerous privileges, still parent must keep surveillance on the expenditures of their children. So that, they would not spend it on unnecessary things.
Submitted by bipan.dhariwal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial responsibility
  • independence
  • financial literacy
  • work ethic
  • effort and reward
  • impulsive purchases
  • budgeting skills
  • critical thinking
  • sense of entitlement
  • modest amounts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: