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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that news and media are affecting our lives in a positive way while others disagree. Do you agree or disagree?

There are those who believe that current affairs reports and various other means of transmitting information are beneficial to humanity, and
on the other hand
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, there are those who dispute
this
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. I totally disagree with the opinion because the news and
media
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 deceive
people
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 and make them feel depressed. The main reason why I believe that the news and
media
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 are harming our
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 is that they have been used as an effective tool by
people
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 with power and money throughout history.
In particular
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, from WWII, when the Nazis controlled German citizens with their detrimental propaganda, to the most recent case, when Chinese authorities hid the actual number of COVID-19 cases,
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media
Correct article usage
the media
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,
such
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 as newspapers and radio broadcasts, have been manipulated by governments.
Consequently
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, many
people
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 have been damaged mentally and physically; many German soldiers died young for the Nazis;
people
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 in the world
currently
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apply
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have lost their jobs and normal
life
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 because of the unprecedented virus, and
corrupted
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the corrupted
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media
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 helped to hide the reality. Another reason why I support the notion that our livelihoods are being harmed by various forms of
media
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 is that they can make
people
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 exceptionally frustrated when celebrities’ lives are exposed to the public.
For example
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, if a daughter of a big hotel owner,
such
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 as Paris Hilton
who
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, who
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 has never been poor, shows off her everyday
life
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 of extravagance
wasting
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, wasting
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 hundreds of fashion items, and TV
also
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 highlights her luxurious
life
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.
Therefore
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, consuming an enormous amount of time on Instagram to glance
celebrities’
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at celebrities’
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 lives,
people
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 might lose
a
Correct article usage
the
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 willingness to have a good and faithful everyday
life
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. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the opinion that
news
Correct article usage
the news
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 and
media
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 are making our
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 positively because they are manipulative and make
people
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 discouraged. Given
this
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 situation, it seems that
people
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 should have a keen insight in order to differentiate true from false when they get new information from any source.

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content
Your view is clear. Add more facts to back each point.
language
Use short, simple words. Fix small grammar mistakes.
structure
Keep ideas in order: intro, reason 1, reason 2, close.
position
Clear stance from start to end.
evidence
Examples are used to back views.
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