IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

#amount #time #sport #exercise #schools #children
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Obesity in
lad's
Change the noun form
lads
lad
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 has become one of the major problems in current generations,which leads to serious health issues.
The
Correct article usage
A
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 significant amount of people think
this
Linking Words
 can be resolved by spending
ample
Correct article usage
an ample
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 amount of time
for
Change preposition
on
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 sports and exercise wheel Others opine there are alternatives to
this
Linking Words
. To embark on,the predominant factor that leads to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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of
Change preposition
in
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 weight in Adolescents
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 laziness, which is
due to
Linking Words
 the rapid growth of technology where people prefer to engage online
instead
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 of getting out of home and
involving
Wrong verb form
getting involved
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 in some physical activities,
additionally
Linking Words
 people prefer
easy
Correct article usage
an easy
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 approach for all the things
for instance
Linking Words
, ordering food online
instead
Linking Words
 of cooking at home.
This
Linking Words
 approach does not move them from their seats,
consequently
Linking Words
 an abnormal increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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weight at early ages.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 problem can be resolved by spending some time every
Day
Fix capitalization
day
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 with physical activities
such
Linking Words
 as games and Exercises which could bring a drastic
Change
Fix capitalization
change
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 in one's health,
in addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
 activity
for example
Linking Words
, jogging and Cycling would be a better option for the lad's who prefer to workout outside the School. In most of the educational
institutions
Add a comma
institutions,
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 a specific slot would be allocated For recreational activities, proper usage of these classes would bring a broader View in children on the health impacts of over heft.
To conclude
Linking Words
 ,
over
Change preposition
apply
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substance is a problem that one has to take
serious
Change the adjective
seriously
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 at
the
Correct article usage
an
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 early age , which can be resolved by investing some amount of time
on
Change preposition
in
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 sports and daily exercises as prevention is better than cure , each individual has to be serious in preventing the
over weight
Correct your spelling
overweight
show examples
Submitted by bhullarkamal23 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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