Some people argue that historic buildings should be preserved in their original form. Others argue that this is both inadvisable and impossible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
While
it is sometimes thought that historic buildings
ought to be retained in their authentic status, there are others who suggest to impossibility and inadvisability of this
notion. However
I personally believe that Add a comma
However,
this
preservation is of a monumental significance.
On the one hand, some people opine that old buildings
To illustrate, historians and investigators explore these assets to enhance their knowledge about specific features of an era such
as architectural-style
, decoration and Correct your spelling
architectural style
life-style
, their destruction is counted as erasing evidence of a nation’s history. Correct your spelling
lifestyle
Moreover
, these leftovers attract thousands of tourists from the
Change preposition
around the
whole
world every year which booms local markets. Correct word choice
apply
Thus
, paying not enough attention to these worthwhile structures will possibly result in clogging a financial resource. Therefore
it would benefit the
society and individuals if they have not been changed or Correct article usage
apply
destructed
.
Verb problem
destroyed
On the other hand
, some others argue that in order to preserve room and money, their alteration or collapse is inevitable. While
the White House, for instance
, occupies 10 times as much space as a modern building, equipping it with civil infrastructures like electricity or telephone lines and using it as an office have
been a more economical plan. Change the verb form
has
Furthermore
, such
buildings
need constant maintenance that
takes enormous funds. Correct pronoun usage
which
This
money may not be recouped through tourism because preserving an ancient castle, for example
, can cost as much as its income for 10 years through
charging for visits.
In conclusion, Change preposition
by
although
some people decline the idea of retaining buildings
of historical value, I am considering my stance on its importance because they are a great part tangible heritage of a country. In addition
, such
structures not only has
helped us know much about our historyCorrect subject-verb agreement
have
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
has
provided business opportunities for locals as tourist spots.Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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coherence cohesion
To improve, ensure that each paragraph contains a single clear idea. For example, the first body paragraph could be better focused on the importance of historical buildings for cultural and economic reasons, rather than merging multiple ideas in a single section.
task achievement
Work on developing your main points with more specific and varied examples. For instance, instead of just mentioning historians and tourists, provide a specific case study or statistic to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Some sentences are a bit fragmented and could be more fluid. Try to vary sentence lengths and types to maintain the reader's interest.
introduction
Your introduction clearly states the two sides of the argument and provides a clear thesis statement with your own opinion.
conclusion
The essay concludes with a summary of the main points and restates your opinion effectively, giving a sense of closure.
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