IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The media should limit how much bad news they report because it discourage people from doing activities which usually involve very little risk. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #limit #news #report #people #activities #risk
Most news reports tend to be sensational, shocking and unpleasant.
However
, I believe we have a right to know what is happening in the world and I do not believe that the
media
 should restrict what they tell us.
People
 who argue that the
media
 should not report so much bad news have one main reason for
this
 opinion. They suggest that bad news discourages
people
 from doing things which are normally safe,
for
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 crime rates may be a major factor in discouraging
people
 from visiting a city.Another example is when a plane crashes and many
people
 stop flying for a
while
, even
thought
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
 it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 one of the safest ways to travel.
As a result
 of these reactions, businesses suffer because
people
 become frightened of doing things they previously thought were harmless.
On the other hand
, there are strong reasons for arguing that the
media
 should not limit their reporting.
Firstly
,
people
 have to be informed so that they can
then
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 responsible decisions.
Also
,
people
 have to be able to decide for themselves what risks are involved in doing a particular activity.
For example
, when there
has been
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 an accident on the motorway, I do not stop driving,
although
 I usually drive more carefully for a few days, especially if the case of the accident
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 the weather. In short, I think the
media
 have a duty to report all important events.If we do not receive information of
this
 type, we cannot make responsible decisions about what we do, and
this
 reduces our freedom to act in a way which is best for us.

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Task Response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced argument with appropriate examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion by presenting a clear structure, with well-linked paragraphs and a logical progression of ideas. Make sure to use a wider range of cohesive devices, such as pronouns and conjunctions, to connect ideas more effectively.
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