Some people think the manufacturers or shopping malls should sell less packaged products and others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The question of who is obligated to tackle the problem of over-packaging has sparked heated debate. Some think that the producers and retail shops should sell less packaged products,
while
others view that consumers have responsibility regarding their choices. In the essay, I will elucidate both standpoints in more detail and offer my personal opinions.
On one hand, manufacturers and sellers can actually mitigate the negative impacts that the phenomena bring to the environment, and Linking Words
further
enjoy lower costs and spending. And, there are many techniques that can be implemented. Linking Words
For example
, they can claim that their products are based on natural substances and craft an image of eco-friendly. Linking Words
Therefore
, in order to protect Mother Earth, the finished goods are intentionally designed and less packaged. In Linking Words
this
way, a company that uses the strategy can not only reduce waste but Linking Words
also
build a positive brand image.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, indeed, individuals are free to make any decision and are responsible for it. Linking Words
Furthermore
, most merchandise is introduced to the market mainly because there are citizens who adore them. Linking Words
For instance
, obviously, over-packaging products are favoured by some Linking Words
thus
they continue to exist. Linking Words
Moreover
, the market is generally driven by customer behaviour, if the public is well aware of what it means to buy an item that drains considerable natural resources, the populace may start to make some difference.
In conclusion, Linking Words
due to
the reasons listed above, I personally advocate that both parties are accountable for handling the topic. Generally speaking, it takes all humanity to work together to resolve Linking Words
such
a question addressed, Linking Words
otherwise
current situation will Linking Words
last
and gradually get worse.Linking Words
Submitted by aaron.ten.tw on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a recognisable structure, but needs more logical flow and clear transitions between ideas. Work on connecting sentences and paragraphs more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which is positive, but they could be more effective if they more clearly outlined the main points and restated them more distinctly in relation to the question in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is expanded upon with clear supporting details and examples. The current examples are vague and could be elaborated on to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The response addresses the task and covers key viewpoints. However, the argument would benefit from a more developed personal stance with clearer progression of thought. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is further explored. The personal opinion could be stronger and more explicit.
task achievement
The discussion could be more comprehensive. Aim to explore the ideas more deeply and provide a balanced comparison between the two views before concluding.
task achievement
The examples you provide are relevant but need to be specific and directly linked to the argument. Avoid generic statements by instead giving precise examples that substantially back up your points.