Some people belive that nowdays we have too many choices.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

One the one hand, nowda
ys is t
the period of time that is happening now; any continuous stretch of time including the moment of speech
nowadays
he age of technology.Actually the help found a lot of information, the time is saved.
In addit
ion we can
Accept comma addition
addition, we
read the news online any language from any country in the world.
Moreo
ver we can
Accept comma addition
Moreover, we
purchase food without leaving home and book everything. We can quickly buy and order the clothes we want throu
ght onli
from beginning to end
through
throughout
ne stores.We can easily talk to our long-distance friend on the online chatting.For any time the movie can get and watch Internet.
On the other hand
humans do n
Accept comma addition
hand, humans
ot w
ant focus on t
Suggestion
not want to focus
he envir
oment.All
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
people's attention are i
n s
Suggestion
is
o
ci
Suggestion
on
al networks and entertainment.They spend a lot of time using netwo
rk
Suggestion
a network
such
as Facebook and Instagram while sitting , wa
tc
Accept space
,
hing and lying.
Moreo
ver people are movi
Suggestion
Moreover, people are
ng away from each other, parents do not nurture their
e chil
of them or themselves
their
dren properly.Sometimes humans purchase meal
from
Suggestion
a meal
outside, it can be harmful for people's bodies and health.
Moreo
ver now the
Accept comma addition
Moreover, now
gadgets are daily
part of o
Suggestion
a daily part
ur life . Mo
st
Accept space
.
of us have a mobil
ephone or a
Suggestion
mobile phone
smart washing, vacuum cleaner.That lead to decrease in people's activity and laziness.
Also
people have
Accept comma addition
Also, people
moved away from reading books as well as. Students can develop bad studying habits and lazy appro
ches towa
move towards
approaches
rds education with the use of technology. In conclusion, people have access to many choices to enjoy in their lives
but ther
Accept comma addition
lives, but
e is unequ
al distribution of b
Suggestion
an unequal distribution
enef
ical reso
promoting or enhancing well-being
beneficial
urces.Everyone should have equal approach to all tupes
oc a
a subdivision of a particular kind of thing
types
d
va
connects a noun with the preceding word
of
as
ntageous impacts of modern technology and foremost, there should be provision of at least funsa
mental huma
serving as an essential component
fundamental
n rights

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: