Internet technology means people do not need to travel to foreign countries to understand how others live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
believe that because of the advancements in information technology, people
can easily know about how other people
are living in foreign countries
. Therefore
, they do not need to visit other foreign countries
. I personally disagree with this
viewpoint because visiting other countries
,
and experiencing things in someone's own eyes is more important, and it Remove the comma
apply
also
encourages sharing culture
.
Visiting a foreign country
to learn about foreign living is far more valuable than learning about them through Internet
. If a Add an article
the Internet
person
visits a foreign country
, he can experience and learn about the actual picture of the lives of others. He can carefully observe the lifestyle, behaviour, culture
and customs of the foreign people
of that country
. This
observation can create a lasting effect in the mind of that person
and that will be more valuable than learning them through the internet. For instance
, when a person
visits a new country
, he can easily understand and appreciate their way of living by observing them.
Moreover
, visiting other countries
encourages the sharing of culture
, ideologies, and beliefs. People
can communicate with foreign people
, and share the culture
, ideologies and beliefs of each other. They can also
express their feelings, thoughts, ideas, and understandings with each other. This
trend enhances international solidarity and peace,
and strengthens bonds between nations. In terms of internet technology, Remove the comma
apply
this
sharing is not possible. For instance
, every year around 30% of people
from England visit France, which creates a strong bond between the two nations.
In conclusion, information technology brings a lot of advancements however
, it cannot replace the need of visiting
foreign Change preposition
to visit
countries
because it can impact a person
's life, and encourage international solidarity.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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relevant specific examples
Consider providing more varied and specific examples to strengthen your argument and make it more convincing. This could help illustrate your points more vividly and make your essay more engaging.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next with clear connections to maintain the flow of your essay. This will enhance the overall readability and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction that outlines your stance, making it easy for the reader to understand your position.
logical structure
Your paragraphs are well-structured, with each one dedicated to a specific idea. This organization helps the reader follow your argument easily.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay and reiterates your stance, providing a strong finish.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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