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Band 5.5

The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to begin to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one third of the population in most developed countries will be aged 65 and over. What effects will these predictions have on developed countries if they prove true? What can be done now to deal with this situation?

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predicted
Suggestion
Predicted
 that we will have the opposite problem by the year 2030 when one
third
 of the population will be 65 or over and birth rates are predicted to decline. What effect will it have on our society? By 2030 the percentage of the population aged 65 or over will have risen significantly, to more than 30%.
This
 means that fewer people will be working, and
therefore
 fewer people will be paying income tax. In the future, it may be necessary for the government to increase the official retirement age to 70 or even older. When today’s 30-year-olds are in their sixties it is unlikely that they will enjoy the relaxed lifestyle that today’s older
generation
 can expect when they give up work. Governments will
therefore
 need to make sure that
this
 older
generation
 is healthy and fit enough to continue working.
However
, I believe that the biggest impact will be on the younger
generation
. In 2030 the younger
generation
 will need to work much harder to support the large number of older people. If
this
 trend continues
then
 it is possible that our entire culture will change.
For example
, most marketing companies today try to target the younger
generation
 with their products and advertisements. If the majority of
population
Suggestion
the population
 is older,
then
this
 will change and companies will begin to target older
generation
. So, what can be done to deal with
this
 situation?
Firstly
, I believe that governments of
developed
Suggestion
developing
 countries should find ways to encourage people to have larger families and increase the birth rate.
Secondly
, I believe that they should encourage migration from developing countries so that the problem of over-crowding can be solved.
Submitted by mina.azimi1993 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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