IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Discuss advantages and disadvantages of children to make own choices

#children #choices
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices in different things and places it is likely in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes
.
Accept space
.
 But other people believe that it is important for children to make
Use synonyms
decision
Suggestion
decisions
a decision
the decision
 about matters affect them. In
this
Linking Words
 essay I will discuss both different views and give my opinion. On the one
hand most
Accept comma addition
hand, most
 of
children allowing
Accept comma addition
children, allowing
 to make decisions because some parents did not attention about their
childrens
Suggestion
child's
children
children's
 life
education
Accept comma addition
education, then
then
Linking Words
 children learning to allow their own choices
such
Linking Words
 as food, cloth and entertainment. Some people believe that if
children allowing
Accept comma addition
children, allowing
 to make their own choices about matters affect them. Obviously some children can not plan to make decisions and
this
Linking Words
 affect them in different situations. Mostly youngest generation allowing
to
Suggestion
for
 their own choices in food or cloths because they want to eat or wear with their own choices.
Linking Words
Furthermore children
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, children
 allowing to make
Use synonyms
decision it
Accept comma addition
decision, it
 is likely some peoples who only think about their own wishes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 nowadays it is important for children to make
Use synonyms
decision
Suggestion
decisions
a decision
the decision
 about matters affect them and make
decision
Use synonyms
 help to increase their over look.
For
Linking Words
example in
Accept comma addition
example, in
 many developed countries children usually allowing
to
Suggestion
for
 their own decisions and it can help to
countries societs
Accept comma addition
countries, societies
countries societies
 and culture and these countries children make their own
decision
Use synonyms
 for their lifestyle. Children usually make
Use synonyms
decision
Suggestion
a decision
decisions
the decision
 about matters affect them. In conclusion, there are several advantages and disadvantages
children allowing
Accept comma addition
children, allowing
to
Suggestion
for
 their own choices. In my opinion more and more people allowing to their
decision
Use synonyms
 and there are a lot advantages than disadvantages
Submitted by kochimovnazirjon on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • responsibility
  • self-confidence
  • decision-making skills
  • independence
  • problem-solving abilities
  • potential
  • consequences
  • overwhelming
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • wrong decisions
  • harmful choices
  • long-term
What to do next:
Look at other essays: