Being a celebrity - such as a movie star or professional athlete - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or drawbacks?

Nowadays with the advancement of mass media, talented
people
in many fields are widely known among
people
in all walks of life. They are
celebrities
and it is believed that being
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
figures
Fix the agreement mistake
figure
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has pros and cons, but I think that the advantages do outweigh the disadvantages. With regards to the drawbacks, famous
people
have to sacrifice their private
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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for
reputation
Correct pronoun usage
their reputation
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. Being distinguished means being the centre of attention and disturbed all the time.
Celebrities
have to act and behave properly whenever they are on
cameras
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camera
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to protect
images
Correct pronoun usage
their images
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as a minor mistake can destroy their career completely.
Therefore
,
renown
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renowned
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people
can not live true to themselves.
Moreover
, they have to accept the fact of always being tracked by reporters whenever they are at home or outside, which is annoying.
However
,
celebrities
who can overcome those disadvantages achieve a lot. Wherever they go they always receive admiration from their fans and are treated nobly.
For example
, every time a famous person appears in public there are always red carpet, reporters, cameras, luxurious cars, and lots of fans crazy about their idol. Another positive side to state is the financial benefit.
Celebrities
earn a lot through their work or performances.
For instance
, Rafael Nadal, a talented and professional tennis player,
gain
Correct subject-verb agreement
gains
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lots of money after a tournament. Now his possession is huge and he has a training centre for himself.
To conclude
, being famous has many drawbacks, but the benefits are much more to consider.
Celebrities
can not live a normal life, but they have the reputation, the possession and the success which are not easy to achieve.

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task response
Ensure that your reasons and examples directly support your argument. Provide specific instances where being a celebrity has more benefits than drawbacks. Also, consider presenting a balanced view by addressing potential benefits of a private life without fame.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows a good logical flow and appropriate use of linking words. However, there is room for improvement in maintaining consistency in using pronouns and cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • duality
  • acknowledged
  • accrue
  • endorsements
  • sponsorships
  • influential
  • recognition
  • admiration
  • privileged
  • exclusive
  • luxury
  • privacy invasion
  • paparazzi
  • scrutiny
  • pressure
  • exploitation
  • unscrupulous
  • mental health issues
  • public image
  • perks
  • impact
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