Some people say that web contents should be used to instruct children. Others think that it is not helpful in an educational setting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is a common belief that
web
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not useful for teaching
children
.
However
, there is a more persuasive argument that it is very helpful in education for
children
. On the one hand, some people say that education with
web
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
is not helpful for
children
’s studying.
This
is because there are lots of other
contents
such
as
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
and games,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
are easy to be attracted by other activities.
For example
, there is “YouTube” which is one of the major
web sites
Correct your spelling
websites
show examples
. Nowadays many parents make their
children
watch educational
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
from YouTube, which is ,
however
,
also
contains many other
range
Change to a plural noun
ranges
show examples
of
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the
contents
cannot be fully trusted because whoever can upload
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
through the platform, and even harmful
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
for
children
.
Nevertheless
, education through
web
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
would be very useful for teaching
children
.
Due to
developing technology, many educational facilities use
web
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
teaching through electronic tools
such
as
tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
tablets
show examples
and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
This
is because
children
can study not only from
limited
Add an article
a limited
the limited
show examples
range of knowledge but
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
wide of those which is even from abroad.
For instance
, in the past, it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
hard to study languages effectively only through books, and that
makes
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
many
children
go abroad even though massive costs and apartments from parents.
However
, these days,
since
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there are not only lots of
contents
of language but
also
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of
contents
which are even hard to find out in that language’s country. To wrap up,
while
it is apparent that
web
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
has some
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
teaching
children
, it is undeniable that
this
is very helpful
children
Change preposition
for children
show examples
to get knowledge.
Submitted by maytjsdud on

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Task Response
The essay covers both views but lacks a clear opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks clear progression between ideas and a cohesive conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is a range of vocabulary used, but some inaccuracies and limited variety.
Grammatical Range
There are several grammatical errors and lack of sentence variety.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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